1. MR looks hot in spiky hair. But the baggy cargo pants have *got* to go. I can't believe I sat through this thing nine times, and nary a dillo-sighting! *cries*
2. The infamous eyefucks are not exclusively reserved for the luscious Tom Welling. Ohhhhh, baby. Mikey practically sucks Kirk Baltz off with his hot, hard gaze more than once during this film. Christ on a fucking *crutch*...
3. "You gonna blow me now?" Somebody *please* tell me this actually got filmed, and ended up on the cutting-room floor somewhere. And if so, there needs to be a letter-writing campaign to get this movie released on DVD in the US, with deleted scenes and commentary and everything. Anchor Bay, are you listening?? *Gah!*
4. Ooooookay. Marcus (Mr's character) is fucking hot as hell -- and dumb as a bagful of doorknobs. *shakes Mikey's head* Anything in there?? *rattle, rattle* I thought not...
5. The techno music in this movie really *sucks.* It's not even good enough to be Gay Disco music. Ah, well. I guess they didn't have the budget to get *good* techno, like the Chemical Brothers or Prodigy. Too bad.
6. Oops! Mikey stabs Kirk, and suddenly it's "ohhhhhhhhfuuuuucccccccckkkkkk!" And I'm cracking up!! Oh, God, Mikey, you really went over the top on this one. Too fucking hysterical!!
7. But, ooooohhhh, you're making up for it now -- taking your shirt off to mop up all the blood, and getting all sweaty as you hide the body. And such a nice, furry chest you've got too! Mmmmm, mmmm!!
8. Something tells me that dreamy, vacant stoner look Mikey affects throughout most of the movie may not be all acting on his part. Just a hunch.
9. Yayyyy! The bitchy blonde girlfriend finally bites it! And she deserved it, if only for that awful white fright wig. Not to mention her eye makeup. Marcus really must be stoned all the time if this is what he finds attractive...
Not that I'm bitter or anything. ;)
All in all, it's really not *that* bad a movie, despite the way I've been poking fun at it. It sorta falls into the category of "camp classic" or "so bad it's good." And hey, every actor worth his salt ends up with at least one or two stinkers on his resume. If this is the worst that MR ever does, he can count himself lucky.
Two and a half out of five stars. See, I can be generous! ;)